GUIDANCE

Each time I looked at the red rose, I was extended an invitation. An invitation to see the fullest version of myself, an invitation to feel whole and loved. An invitation to step into what was to come. I was receiving access to my healing.

The final straw was receiving a wait-list letter from James Madison University (JMU), followed by a rejection letter. Un-be-liev-a-ble. JMU was my back-up, my just in case. What do you do when, your dreams or plans are completely shattered? What do you do when everything you’ve fought and waited for, is now crumbling?

Have you ever heard of the story of David and Goliath? If you grew up in church or frequented the establishment from time to time (Christmas, Easter, the biggies for instance), then you likely heard this biblical story recounted numerous times. If you have no history with church and possibly do not believe in God, the bible, or any other higher power, please do not discount the power and intention of this story.

On October 30, 1974, in Kinshasa, Zaire the undefeated world heavyweight champion George Foreman would take on the challenger, Muhammad Ali (then known as the former heavyweight champion). The numbers and predictions were in favor of George Foreman, a man of great power and strength.

This particular book takes a look at what it means to be whole, to be a person emotionally, socially, and mentally agile. When members of our society were asked what is the key factor or highly desired goal in life…they responded with happiness. Happiness prevailed as most commonly mentioned, above all of other aspects such as leading a meaningful life, attaining fortune, and finding a home in heaven after death.

It took every ounce of strength in me to walk out of the Doll House that day. That’s what we called our place. A diverse college home, filled with members from two different sororities and two different fraternities. The place actually looked like a doll house too, at least from the road. Once you got really close, you would probably more affectionately call it a “crumbling” doll house.

This year, for me, is a symbolic representation of the END. The end to the remnants of toxic thinking that once ran my life. As I’ve come face to face with the stories that once only operated on a subconscious level, I am given the opportunity to take back my story. I am given the opportunity to tell my story with new eyes, a new perspective. These are 3 guiding principles for life and anyone who is striving to be the best version of themselves.

I bring this up because what seemed like small, insignificant moments of my life would little by little deter me from connecting with my desires.  Over time, I would completely suppress what I wanted from life.  My ability to voice what I wanted became so constrained that simple things like deciding what I wanted to eat was hard.  The problem with this is, not knowing what you want will always keep you at the mercy of what you don’t want.  Energetically, you become submissive and abused by the desires of others.

I could hardly look myself in the mirror.  The stress and internal turmoil I felt had manifested on the outside.  I was 21 but I felt at least 40.  The breakouts and scars on my face were something I could never get past.  “Where did I go wrong.  Why do I look and feel so ugly?” 

“Seeing that they can find no recognizable handle to hold onto in a new season, they look backward to something commonplace in order to receive comfort” (Jakes, 2019, p. 202).  As we move from one season to another, one job to another, one phase of life to another, we often times feel lost.  We can feel like we are out in a field, wandering.

Take a look into the Divinely given insight that Dr. Darrien received regarding what was to come in 2020. Dr. Darrien believes many of our lives are being rebuilt with a more sustainable mindset, spirit, and heart to live a life overflowing with purpose, intention, and inner harmony.

In the past, I ruled my life by perfection or nothing at all.  If every “i” wasn’t dotted and every “t” crossed, I held back.  I thought, the world only responded to perfection.  Well, under the rule of that mindset I lived on the side of nothing at all.  Waiting for the “perfect moment” has resulted in lost moments.  It has kept me stagnant when life is about movement, life is motion. 

Realize that we can only serve others from a place of abundance when that Universe first exist within us.  You can attempt to fake it, but the Universe can’t be deceived.  So, follow the whisper.  Follow what feels right within you.   The mind is an analytical machine, but sometimes what we need lies outside of what makes sense.  Choose to be guided by spirit, not ego.  Don’t be afraid to clear your past, to do the deep work to empty yourself of old things so that you can be filled with all things new. 

Are you aware of what happens when someone shows you light when all you’re used to is darkness?  You grab a hold to them.  You cling, even if that light is simply a reflection of you shining through that person. 

I welcomed in 2019 at Realignment Studio on Capitol Hill.  This was quite atypical from previous years, but it felt right…it felt true.  I continued with my tradition of having a word and phrase to guide my spiritual growth for the year.  Reprogramming, that’s what came up for me.  Reprogramming has been about upgrading my mindset to meet a new level of operating.  Reprogramming has welcomed in a grounded sense of confidence in my purpose. Giving Myself Permission, an affirmation to guide my heart. 

You know those theater attendants give everyone who comes in with a bag, the stink eye. Some people really over do it. I mean, you really don’t need a suit case to watch a movie. I admit to bringing a bag. It’s only because I like my popcorn popped in coconut oil with a hint of Himalayan pink salt. I know, I’m extra.