Fish to Dragon.
I welcomed in 2019 at Realignment Studio on Capitol Hill. This was quite atypical from previous years, but it felt right…it felt true. I continued with my tradition of having a word and phrase to guide my spiritual growth for the year. Reprogramming, that’s what came up for me. Reprogramming has been about upgrading my mindset to meet a new level of operating. Reprogramming has welcomed in a grounded sense of confidence in my purpose. Giving Myself Permission, an affirmation to guide my heart. Permission to be big and bold when necessary, yet small and reserved on other days. Permission to believe in my third eye; permission to break barriers. Permission to use my voice. Permission to watch Netflix, mindlessly some days or eat a chocolate chip cookie from Chick-Fil-A when desired. Permission to give up and on other days permission to keep going. It came down to a burning desire to feel EVERYTHING: the highs and lows. I wanted to surrender to each and every moment with radical acceptance. This year has turned out to be about saying YES to the human experience. Yes, to the places where I once said NO, to the places that I’ve ignored for so long. There, in those places, I have found healing. Following the resistance has brought me to a place of surrender.
It was January 3rd. I am walking back from Whole Foods on H Street. I begin to feel this nudge, to add to my new year mantra. This time, it was an animal: The Cheetah. Cheetah? I instantly knew what that meant. It meant that this year was going to move fast, as Cheetah’s are the fastest land animals in the world. Cheetahs have the ability to accelerate faster than most sports cars. Their elongated spines and long tails give them the ability to maintain balance during high speeds. They are agile. Another prediction for the year: although it was going to be fast paced, I would have the necessary skills to press forward confidently. To keep pace. To recover and heal as necessary.
A New Season.
The thing about words, phrases, and even animals if you go that far for inspiration—they are only as effective as the energy that serves them. Reprogramming, Giving Myself Permission, and the Cheetah, they guided me through most of this year. They were quite predictive and energizing because they met my then needs of development. I thought they would serve my heart all year. However, I forgot seasons change. Winter follows spring. There is summer, and then comes fall. It wasn’t until I was standing in the kitchen having a conversation with my roommate about her visit to the National Gallery of Art, that I was guided to let go of what I found to be true in the beginning of this year. I found new energy and excitement. I latched on to it.
New Inspiration for Resiliency.
“So, what was the most exciting thing about the museum you visited?” “Well, it was learning about these fish, called carps.” She further explained that in Chinese folklore they are representations of energy, power, and courage because of their ability to swim upstream, against the current. Those fish who make it upstream, through the resistance, are said to turn into dragons. Furthermore, these fish are notorious for their ability to thrive in muddy, murky environments where most fish would be forced to die. Even more interesting, these carp fish are known to grow as large as their resources will allow.
Carp fish are a great inspiration because of their ability to engage the process called life, to step into (or in their case swim) the unknown. They have a keen ability to overcome and make the most out of their circumstances. Admirable, their ability to live a life where they do not avoid the unknown, but chose to embrace it. They are resilient creatures. In the past, when someone asked what is my favorite animal, I’d usually go for a big exotic cat. The cat varies, depending on my mood. I’m a lion on days when being a part of a community is filling me inside. A tiger when I’m craving both solitude and a sense of empowerment. Most days though, I bounce between being a prancing cheetah and the sly leopard. Never, until now, would I have said a fish. A carp fish. A fish with the potential of transforming into a dragon.