Do You Play to Win OR Not to Lose?

I love this question, and I plan to use it more often: Do you play to win or not to lose? Psychology calls this difference in motivation "approach or avoidance." I call it love or fear. Playing to win, being motivated by approach, or acting out of love means that you are moving in the direction of something important to you. As Foster and Auerback (2015) state, "Without a focus, our thoughts scatter, often turning negative, and our level of productivity, to be sure, is lower." (p.136). They go on to state that peak performance is a result of having a clear, focused goal. This is playing to win. Playing not to lose is avoidance, it is a fear-based motivation that involves, essentially, running from what you do not want. This kind of motivation is reactionary, and it prevents you from making any kind of meaningful forward movement. Moreover, reactionary, avoidance-based motivation makes it easier to give up in the face of difficulty, as barriers may be seen as "losing" whereas approach-based motivation might see a barrier or obstacle as a challenge on the way to winning. 

The authors go on to a different perspective on motivation: Are you trying to be good at something, or get better at it? Trying to be good at something leads to an all-or-nothing attitude. When faced with setbacks, similar to those playing not to lose, the person may end up feeling like a failure or stay fixed in their mindset, assuming that they are not capable of "being good at it." On the other hand, when you are motivated to get better at something, this leads to a growth mindset. Similar to playing to win, being motivated by getting better involves a sense of learning new skills, experimenting, and personal development over time. This kind of attitude fosters the perseverance necessary to achieve big goals.

Written by Janssen Judge, Human Performance Coach

Recommending reading:

Foster, S. L., & Auerback, J. E. (2015). Positive Psychology in Coaching: Applying Science to Executive and Personal Coaching. Pismo Beach, CA: Executive College Press