GUIDANCE

You have to see this moment with the eyes of your soul. Yes, there may be a heavy cloud over us—but just above it, a divine cloud of witnesses is watching, holding us, guiding us.

This is a holy moment. We are being offered exactly what we need to access our inner light—so we can share it, so we can usher others to theirs. To do that, we must give birth to the version of ourselves strong enough to sustain not just our own becoming, but the weight and wonder of this season of human existence.

Trust your urge to step away from old patterns. Trust your urge to set firmer boundaries. Trust your urge to deepen your self-care. And above all—trust your urge to push.

In Scatter Me Wholly, I open the black book of my life in hopes that you will begin to see how every moment—even the most confusing, painful, or forgotten—is being woven together for the good of the whole.

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The pace of this year has been faster than ever, and it comes as no surprise to me that the black crow, ruled by the element of air, appeared to me in late 2024. In this swift, transitory year, we will need strategy, a keen perception, and a strong internal resolve. Let the crow be your guide—one of the most intelligent, mystical, and spiritually attuned animals of all.

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It was a time when I felt torn between two worlds—one of academic success and leadership, the other of hidden personal struggles—I unexpectedly discovered dance as a way to bring them together. When I first joined the Longwood Company of Dancers, I was far from prepared, but in the process, I learned that dance became an outlet for both my vulnerability and my strength. It allowed me to embrace all of who I was—the beauty, the brokenness, the fear—and turn it into something powerful. This message is about finding your own way to navigate the battles life throws at you, and the importance of connecting the different parts of yourself. It’s a reminder that the heart knows how to fight, and when we discover our own “dance,” we can move through life with grace and power, no matter what comes next.

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I took a deep breath, drawing in the light that had survived my childhood—the light I had managed to carry all this way. I drew my attention towards the sky. I remembered the night I learned the famous “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” song. We were down at my grandma Brenda’s. I recall my favorite part of the song, for some reason, was “how I wonder what you are.” And still, I found myself wondering: what are you?

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In moments of profound struggle, when the weight of our experiences feels insurmountable, we often find ourselves at a breaking point. It’s in these times that we discover the true depth of our bravery: will you run, stand, or rise? This season of life calls for an unwavering commitment to living from our center—shifting from mere understanding to actively embodying our truths. As we face the chaos around us, we are reminded that surrendering isn’t defeat; it’s a courageous step toward healing and, ultimately, toward ourselves. Own your brave. Trust that the winds of life are with you, supporting you. And then, rise.

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Who we are becoming is often veiled, wrapped up in a process we must surrender to. It's woven into the fabric of our daily lives, our persistence, our consistency. It hides behind our hopes, fears, faithfulness, sadness, grief, and joy. It reveals itself in challenges, celebrations, and life's simplest moments. And one day, when you least expect it, you stumble upon your true reflection. You see yourself and your life in a way you never have before. In this potent Virgo season, consider how you are embracing your path and who you are becoming.

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Join us on this insightful podcast episode as we explore the journey of reconnecting with your body, navigating perimenopause, and healing from the effects of long-term stress. I’m joined by Najmah, a passionate advocate for empowering Black women, and Dr. Monica, a physician specializing in holistic women's health. I'll share my perspective on these important topics from the lens of childhood trauma, chiropractic care, and reiki. Tune in for a compelling conversation that promises to inspire and inform!

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I grew accustomed to living with half of me…parts, never the whole. Only in private would I allow my heart to speak and my mind to trace the outline of who I could be…one day.  For a long time, being fully present was too much of a danger—a risk I couldn't afford to take.  But as you continue to grow and heal, you build up the necessary inner resources that will allow you to stand firmly in compassion, courage, and wisdom.  Instead of running away, you begin to run towards—trusting that what you find will only reveal more of who you truly are. Recently, I was invited back to a place I once stood.  It had been years since I last revisited this memory, but the time came for me to reach back and free that part of me, my inner child. 

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Sift through your past. Look high and low, casting your light from different angles. Look under every place for hidden meanings, for anything that might still be existing under the old regime of trauma and doubt. It’s time that the meaning of your story shifts. Renewal comes from a shift in perspective, born by being freed from the old story and being welcomed by new meaning. How you make meaning of your past will determine how you grow from it. Everyone you need is now inside of you. Renew your heart and mind to the abundance of this relationship: to the stadium of support you have built within yourself. You are ready to rise into the larger purpose of your story, for the good of the collective.

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I’d been diligently walking the streets of D.C. My eyes attracted to everything blooming. My nose following the alluring smells of roses, gardenias, and hyacinths. The trees, standing tall and assuredly, bustling with greenery again—their bare disguise of winter finally gone. Above the ground this is the story each of them told; this is what the eye could see and what the mind could understand. But I knew it not to be the full story. I knew spring to also be a time when things needed to break in order to open up. I knew that below the surface, in the darkness of the soil, was where the true offering of spring was being made.

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The desert I’d crossed, the flames that chased me along that unknown path had led me here: a fortress built and sustained by my own hands and something far beyond me. It has roots, like a tree, and yet, it defies all laws of matter and sense. For it is not a place at all, too powerful to be contained, too elusive to be truly named. The best word I can find for it, right now, is love. Love, passion, inspiration, confidence, and transformation—these are the elements we are attuning to in 2024: a year governed by fire and the phoenix.

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As you begin to put words to where this year has taken you, resist the need to over look small. Resist the need to think big is always and only better. For that matter, keep the two separated, one is a fruit and the other a vegetable. Small is the steps that we must each take, towards any vision…towards anything that we wish to accomplish. Small is the how. Small is the way we get there, to big…to the vision…to the end. Small is the practical steps that makes anything not only possible, but manageable, hospitable.

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Dr. Darrien Jamar (They/Them), driven by a childhood anthem about soaring possibilities, embarked on a profound journey questioning beliefs and discovering a passion for guiding others toward their fullest potential. From the exuberant preschool graduate to the practitioner today, Darrien recognizes that our destinies pivot on embracing our authentic selves. As a result, they delve into empowering individuals to shed limiting beliefs, nurturing a vision of purpose, love, and fulfillment. It’s Darrien’s mission to illuminate paths, enabling others to spread their wings and soar towards their unique destinies. MysticMag has the pleasure.

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Grief is not limited to death; even positive changes in our life can inspire a sense of loss (heaviness) within us. To live a resilient and empowered life, we must be able to approach and navigate both loss and gains mindfully and heartfully—trusting our innate capacity to withstand moments of healthy vulnerability…trusting our ability to find our center, again. I share with you how grieving forward this year has led me to a place of stillness, to a place of gratitude, to a more embodied version of myself.

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“My work, the work I have been called to do, is about guiding others back to themselves. I know for sure that all roads lead back to the quality of the relationship that you have with yourself. That day, in kindergarten, was prophetic in a sense. It has become a metaphor for my life…for my work. That day I learned I was strong enough to walk the road before me, and those roads I would have to travel later in life. We have it within ourselves to become the people we have been destined to be, and life will help us do that…I am here to help others do that. I have been called to help others walk their own dirt roads.”

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Fall has this way of initiating, not only in nature, but within us, a primitive inclination to purge, to shed, to slow down and look closer. Traditionally, we have associated this season with language such as letting go, surrender, and change. I am not saying those descriptors are no longer true or applicable, because at the heart of what I am saying is they are—but, perhaps, its more refreshing and relevant to think of this moment as a time, urge, and instinct to (gently) rearrange parts of your life.

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I will continue to write my way forward. Writing has helped me right my way to a higher ground. Writing has saved me, its baptized me in the sacred waters of truth. Writing has been my shepherd, my rod and staff through many dark nights. Writing reflects me, the parts that are lost and found. Writing has helped me discover and rediscover myself. Writing has given me direction—a future to look forward to. And that’s where I am headed, there are places I am now ready to go.

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“Without thinking twice, I jumped up, remembering my Uncle had brought over a homemade lemon cake. After eating my first slice too quickly, I decided to get another. I chuckled. Watching myself eat this second slice without feeling guilty or ashamed. I didn’t entertain those old thoughts that once accompanied a moment such as this. This is it, I thought. This is what it means to be happy, to be found…to be located inside.”

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