Resistance and Fear.
Where has fear invaded your life most?
I sense, for most of us, we have at least one area in our life where fear has a longstanding history. For me—that brings to light a conglomerate of moments that center around speaking. I know that’s not a major surprise, as public speaking is a huge fear for most humans. But I realize, at least for me, that the fear that was associated with speaking in public had a much bigger purpose than I was previously privy to.
Retracing your fear steps.
As I was preparing to step on the stage as the “Inspirational Opener” at my high school graduation, I thought the task before me was impossible. I found myself in an unshakable, silent panic. I was about to not only speak in front of my peers, but also their loved ones and friends. And—a host of teachers, faculty, staff, and administrators. At the time—I thought those reasonable (and justifiable) factors were the source of my fear…
I always assumed, too, that I was afraid to use my voice. I assumed I was afraid that I lacked power…that I really didn’t have anything to say. I was afraid that no one would listen.
Fear, take off your mask…
Close to 11 years later has led me to see that I was actually afraid of speaking from my heart. I had poured my all into that speech. I went places I never knew possible to find the words to meet that special moment. Mostly, it was my struggle & strength to fight my way into the top 10 (a long held dream of mine) that decided the words and message of that speech. I seeked out all the guidance I could to confirm the essence of my message. And, of course, I practiced and practiced it some more. Yet, still, I was afraid…afraid to open my heart.
Eleven years later has also revealed another side to my old fear story: I wasn’t afraid of them, I was afraid if me. I was afraid that I had power. I was afraid that if I spoke, people would listen. I was afraid that I actually had influence.
Resistance & Fear.
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember our rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” -p. 40, the War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Beyond the Resistance.
I sense it’s time. I sense it’s time that you open yourself to see your fear differently…with a revived perspective. If you’ve held on to the same fears and have seen them the same way for all of your life, that era is over. What if you’ve been running away from what you should be running towards? What if there is actually power behind your fear? What if your calling is hidden behind that fear?