When Left Turns Right
Before I knew it, I was here, walking along the Anacostia River Trail. My legs were moving, while simultaneously my heart was shifting, readjusting with each step. I thought about how my day led me here. Most Sunday’s I prefer to not leave the house, preferring this one day to be void of hard to-do lists and no alarm to awake to. But after my nonprofit board meeting, my body was urging me to leave the house. I put on my comfy, washed, ashy-black sweatpants, threw on a hat, and my old reeboks. My excursion took me out towards Lothian, Maryland—a drive I nostalgically recalled from last year.
With my sunroof back, just the right amount of breeze was meeting my face. I was enjoying admiring the the brick homes as I whistled pass. I saw wide bodied cars that sympathetically reminded me of back home, the Eastern Shore. I took in the open fields with no buildings occupying them, just nature at rest: bright green grass, trees standing and growing in many directions. I took comfort in the simplicity of the things I saw. When my gas light came on, I thought: okay, I’ll just get gas now while I am out instead of tomorrow. I was excited about being better prepared and ahead for the week. When I pulled up to Exxon, I shuffled in my black fanny pack, only to realize I not only failed to bring my drivers license, I was also without cash or credit card. Timely, my phone then alerted me that I was down to 20% battery and, of course, I also left my charger at home. Instantly, I was invited to question my decision…to question the instincts and feelings that originally led me out the house in the first place. Without notice, I felt myself feeling shame for the planning I left unattended.
Realizing the only remaining wise and safe option was to head back to D.C., I clicked Home on Waze, put my phone on low power mode, turned down the brightness, and rolled my front windows all the way down.
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I’d never been to this park before. About twenty minutes from arriving home, as I was making a right turn, I saw two people causally walking. Their ease and bright smiling faces immediately inspired me. Looking further I realized it was a park. I pulled over and jumped out the car, leaving my phone, now at 7%, in the car.
When Left Turns Right
And that’s when I saw it. After about 20 minutes of walking, dancing on the ground of the oak tree was a red bird (otherwise called a cardinal). They are my guides. They have always been. They affirm that I am on the right path; their presence have always put me at ease. But today, this red bird was affirming a new belief, a new way of being that I hadn’t realized I was being invited into: I felt the encouragement to embrace and trust left turns. I felt a freedom being illuminated, a release from one of my old defenses: planning, a planning which ultimately has brought me safety through control. I felt the encouragement that it’s okay to feel life’s flow, to feel life’s harmony moving and guiding me—and to be with that, to go where it takes me. I felt myself stepping into a new depth of myself, of life—one where I can trust the unknown.
We often struggle, we often feel deep resistance because we want to lead life. In reality, life and life’s lessons are meant to lead us, you.
Let New Streams Flow
Gathering myself from the breakthrough, I came across a bridge. As I stood upon it, allowing my recent revelations to cement, feeling gratitude for my life and this journey, I saw something gently moving towards me in the river. At first, its exact identity couldn’t be discerned. Reflexively, and comically, I wondered if it were an alligator or crocodile. As this unknown creature dove and dived closer, it became clear that it was a beaver. As it moved, I felt its presence summarizing the emotional spirit and feel behind today’s message: new streams are flowing, allow new streams to flow gently within you.
As your old belief systems are lifted, you will notice yourself gently entering and experiencing new ways of being in and seeing the world. You may be cautious at first. Notice this reaction. It’s okay. It’s instinctual. Allow your old patterns to surface. And then, gently, softly, feel yourself move in a new direction.